I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
