obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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