I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
