i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
