Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
