i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
