I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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