oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
