Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
