3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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