Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
