you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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