did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
