wakey wakey hands off snakey
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
