I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
