Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
