I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
