I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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