I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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