Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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