A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
