You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize