you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Two words: blizzard sex
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
