God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
