Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
