i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
