Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
