i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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