Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
