wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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