so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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