I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
