And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
