So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
