STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
