You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I want a musical about memes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize