come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
