I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize