idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it's like iHOP with fire
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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