What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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