I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
