I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize