I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I will pee on everything he values.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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