i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
