the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
