did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
