white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
