I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
