Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Alive.
So much puke
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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