did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
