Kareoke will never be a sober sport
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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