I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Randomize
