her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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