I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
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