Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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