i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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