your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
