it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
