I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
